What The Fuck Is Cortisol & Why Should I Be Worried About It?

WHAT THE FUCK IS CORTISOL AND WHY SHOULD I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT?

Cortisol is known as the “stress” hormone. When the amygdala (a part of the brain which deals with emotions) perceives danger our bodies go into a state of “fight or flight” – the term coined for basically when something shit your pants scary is about to happen and you don’t know whether to face it head on or run like a little girl. This then sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus, which in turn then activates the sympathetic nervous system by sending signals through the autonomic nerves to the adrenal glands. This is where cortisol is released.

Now, years ago, when we lived in huts and bathed in mountain streams, I imagine chronically high levels of cortisol would only really be prevalent if we were getting chased by a tiger. These days, we live almost in a constant state of anxiety. It is estimated that our warning alarms are ringing over 50 times a day, flooding our bodies with cortisol and putting us at risk of illness. We are stressed to fuck about our jobs, paying the bills, our extra chin, our partner being a nob, our cars breaking down, our lack of holidays and wanting to keep up with the so-called rat race. Those fuckers next door have this, this and this – I need it too. We are always desiring, and our inability to fulfill our desires cause us stress, cause us chronically high levels of cortisol; but, our bodies are not cut out to live in this constant state of “fight or flight”. It is abnormal and it will let you know in the following ways:

• Decreased Metabolism • Depression • Hypertension (high blood pressure) • Chronic Fatigue • Sleep Deprivation – the feeling of ‘tired but wired’ • Migraines • Tunnel Vision • Hostility and Mood Swings • Hunger and Emotional Over-Eating • Decreased Immune System • Insulin Resistance and Weight Gain (especially around the stomach) • Increased Urination • Muscle Aches and Pains • Changes in Libido • Irregular Periods and Fertility Problems

All of which are linked to high levels of cortisol. Not very nice eh? I’m sure each and every one of us have experienced one or more of the above, so for that reason it is worth knowing about the triggers biologically.

SO HOW DOES THIS SWINE OPERATE?

Now cortisol isn’t all bad, it can in some cases ENHANCE FAT LOSS. I suppose cortisol is a bit temperamental, like people. If it is in good company, it is alright. If it isn’t, it’s a bastard. For example when cortisol starts knocking about with HGH (human growth hormone) and is in the presence of LOWER LEVELS OF INSULIN it speeds up fat burning. It is these hormones having a positive effect on the body when they are in the presence of each other. One of the reasons people in the know will preach high intensity interval training (20 minutes sprint intervals for example) is because the elevated levels of cortisol which is released with this type of exercise, HGH and catecholamines, along with LOWER LEVELS of insulin is extremely beneficial for FAT LOSS. Your body can achieve this state of being, either by HIIT as mentioned, or short term fasting.

On the other hand however, CORTISOL IS A MOTHERFUCKER when it starts knocking about with HIGHER LEVELS OF INSULIN. The reason for this is because when you have chronically high levels of cortisol (stress) over a long period of time your body becomes more insulin resistant. This means the body starts releasing MORE insulin which leads to GREATER FAT STORAGE. On top of this, insulin negatively effects fat burning by its indirect suppression of a major fat burning enzyme called CPT-1. Not only can you get fat by having chronically high levels of cortisol, but if you aren’t training, cortisol will contribute towards loss of muscle. What a shit.

OTHER CONTRIBUTORS OF CORTISOL

Some additional contributors to high levels of cortisol include sleep deprivation, infection or inflammation, alcohol and coffee – so you can see, a vicious circle can occur. I have high levels of cortisol because of stress, what shall I do to unwind? Get pissed, drink a load of coffee thus effecting my sleep, now I’m knackered and my body is more susceptible to infection - and my body starts releasing more cortisol!

OKAY I GET IT, IT’S GRIM. HOW CAN I CONTROL IT?

• Leisure Walking • Plenty of Sleep • Massages and Physical Affection – this fills us with oxytocin (the love hormone), endorphins and other healing hormones that support the body’s self-healing mechanisms. • Meditation – Harvard physician Herbert Benson extensively studied a form of transcendental meditation proven to activate the relaxation response and improve DOZENS of health conditions from heart disease to obesity and cancer. Meditation for the brain is what free weights are to the muscles. IT WORKS. Studies have also been conducted which prove meditation lowers cortisol, one example is the study on 30 second year medical students at Srinakharinwirot University in which their blood was drawn before and after a four day mindfulness program. 381.93 nmol/L beforehand, 306.38 nmol/L afterwards. • Magnesium • Green Tea • Have a shag – It has been proven those with healthy sex lives live longer, have a lower risk of heart disease, have a stronger immune system, sleep better and appear more youthful – oh, and their cortisol levels are lower! • Laughter

ADDITIONAL TIPS ON DEALING WITH STRESS

• Try not to worry about things you cannot control. Ask yourself “can I change this?” if the answer is no, move on. • Solve the little problems – this will make you feel empowered. • Try to view change as a positive challenge, not a threat. • Talk with a trusted friend – I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me he was badly depressed until he started to open up to people. Once he did, it felt like an enormous weight off his shoulders. People who care wont judge, and will help you back up.

• Avoid over-scheduling. • Exercise on a regular basis – if you are unsure where to start. Message me  • Eat regular well balanced meals as opposed to two or three massive ones, this will help to control insulin release and blood sugar spikes. • Socialise and participate in group sports.